I am a recovering anorexic, bulimic, cancer patient, alcoholic and struggle with depression, ADHD, OCD, PTSD and, depending on the day, low self esteem. I have people pleased my way through life, forgetting the ultimate necessity: self love and self care.
I thought I had it licked. At least the depression and low self esteem part. A few months back I was at the funeral of a friend’s son. He was her only child. She cherished him and had suffered debilitating symptoms from Lyme disease. The funeral was at a small town church, the church I used to attend.
My husband and I were siting in the balcony, and when my friend entered the church, visibly leaning on her husband, it was all I could do to stifle my scream. I dug my nails into my husband’s legs. Startled by strange hands on the back of my neck, I turned around and discovered a friend of my husband’s. I had never met her before, but knew she was “famous” in our neck of town. She made beautiful felt purses, and her creativity knew no bounds. She was an artist, a dreamer, and, it turns out, a Reiki Master in training.
As we exited the church, she spoke to me about Reiki Healing…and how she felt I would benefit from it. She was training, and there was no charge. My first visit left me a bit uncomfortable, as it was up close and personal. By the third session I was hooked, and on the way to healing.
For the next few months I soared. It seemed that there was finally an end to the depression and I saw beauty in all things. Until a member of my church, and someone I truly trusted, began to tell me about praying to angels and how that isn’t an option. We need to pray to God. Jesus has always and will always be my Lord and Savior. I don’t remember ever “praying” to an angel. But something changed in me the minute I heard those words.
I couldn’t get out of bed yesterday. One by one the precious necessities of life seemed to elude me. Was it my negative thinking and desire to off myself with my husband’s hunting gun? Could that be the reason I burned a hole in my robe, didn’t make it to Easter Sunday service, and had to call off to a job as a nanny I had just started last week? I do not have the answers I once thought I did. But this I know, He has taken me this far for a reason, and once I figure out what that is, well, I will be unstoppable.
So for this minute, I will nurture myself and get down on my knees. Please stay tuned, as I intend to help as many people as I can, to find the life they so richly deserve.