March 19, 2017
I have to get a hold of myself. In the days of research for my blog The Rabbit Hole, I took my full-blown, red alert, the sky is falling mind to places I never thought I’d be. I could tell myself that it was all in the name of investigative reporting-but you can get so sucked into some of the scariest bullshit on the internet. Is it because I was always afraid of scary movies and I’m trying to make up for it by scaring the life force out of myself? What the?
I live in my own little world, and anyone who knows me will tell you just that. I now am well versed in politics (no worries, no politico hereo) for the first time in my adult life, but as for what is going on in the real world? Jesus, Mary and Joseph have I been living under a crystal? Smiley face….I crack myself up. Anyhooser, I had been researching Flakka, a drug that had been imported from China back in 2014 into Florida, and created near hysteria in that state. Bath salts. I am always, perpetually the last one in this family to know jack shit. So, after a week of watching the outbreak in Florida and other locations across the country. I saw a virtual zombie apocalypse coming and I still tremble at the thought of some of the footage…….Good God! What fresh hell is this? So, it’s 11:00 a.m. in the morning and we are getting ready to look at used trucks with our son. “Sweet mother of merciful Jesus! Does Bradley know about this?” Holy inappropriate behavior, I immediately message my eldest niece, alerting her to the near epidemic, attaching a disturbing video of people becoming evil incarnate, and tell her, “Honey, if you see a naked man or woman behaving like this, it’s a new drug called Flakka and I want you to get the fuck out of dodge. Do not show this to your mother or sister. They will faint.” Verbatim. Yup.
While standing in the lot of the dealership, the unsuspecting salesperson who just happened to come out of nowhere….he didn’t know that I was about to scream at him like a freight train was coming right down 422, like a bullet with my name on it. Oh my God, it still makes me hurt when I think/laugh out loud about it. Meanwhile, on the way home my husband says to me, “Honey, Flakka was three years ago. Don’t you remember the bath salts thing?” Vaguely. I do know that I had not seen naked, demonic, freaks of nature committing acts of cannibalism, murder and incredible, mind-blowing strength. I was convinced Armageddon had begun and I can laugh now, but man, I need to start checking and rechecking the dates. I came home from church today and immediately went to check the Flakka statistics. Nothing since 2014. Legal back then and on the rise-China stopped making the drug and dealers stopped dealing it. I messaged my niece. “I can’t believe all of these crazy drugs they’re coming up with Aunt Michele….”
What I didn’t say back was, there wasn’t enough weed in this entire town to calm my ass down yesterday. Pass the Hookah, please……………….