The Holy Spirit has put it on my aching heart to tell you all about emergent churches. That will be my topic for tomorrow, but today we shall talk about The Birds, and yes, the Alfred Hitchcock variety. This week was normal, or as normal gets for me. Until Friday. Down with yet another cold, (what fresh hell is this?) I decided to walk in my neighbor’s woods rather than the usual four mile hike at Middlecreek. The only thing I had kept that was gifted to me by my Reiki Master was a beautiful, carved hiking stick. Actually, I picked it out of the burn pile, brushed it off and innocently thought, What could a hiking stick do to me?
If I haven’t mentioned it before, told my spirit animal was a raven, I was mysteriously followed by crows every where I went. I thought it splendid at the time, wow, they are protecting me…..you know, why else would I be the only gal in the neighborhood with crows nests, screaming birds and near head on collisions with black raptors? This was exceedingly comforting to me until I realized that God wasn’t sending them.
I pick up the blasted stick and decided that this will be the only remnant of the New Age that I will keep-to be fair, my sensei had given it to me as a gift, and even though I know she did some form of ceremonial caca pooh-pooh over it, I thought: “Maybe the rain washed it off? It was out in the burn pile for two weeks, what could POSSIBLY GO WRONG?” I commenced to my girlfriend’s yard to hunt for deer sheds. My golden retriever beside me, I got further into the woods. The birds began to gather. I have to say I hadn’t heard or seen them in the week and a half since I began this journey-but here they were again. Folks, I tell you no lie-we were surrounded. I dropped said stick and ran, as fast as you can wearing 20 pound clodhoppers in terrain filled with quicksand and briar bushes. Sweating, I returned to my yard and freedom.
Now, who wants to volunteer to get that monstrosity out of my neighbor’s woods? Say a prayer for her, ’cause ain’t no way it’s gonna be me.