I am sitting in my bedroom, the rain knocking sweetly against the old tin roof, dwelling in this space-with Jesus, and the feeling cannot be described in words. It’s been a long day, and I am drained, yet I am over the moon euphoric….these moments are so rare, yet more precious than any worldly thing that could possibly compare. The journey has recently become a bit brighter, and I am overwhelmed with emotion.
Did you ever notice that God so richly blesses us after a lesson, or trial that He has allowed in our lives? I am now, just into my fifties and realizing the incredible ways in which Yahweh shows his love, like a father who’s child has pleased him by learning, growing. Jesus weeps when we weep, and God doesn’t enjoy correcting us-quite the contrary. He wants His children to be at peace and radiating the joy of knowing Him…it can be seen in the people who have a peace that surpasses all understanding, because we know that Yahweh is in charge and Jesus lives in us.
I can tell you it’s been a trying couple of months and I have felt mildly unnerved about 80% of the time. Coming out of the New Age turned out to be an amazing way in which to connect and strengthen our bond. He tells me to lighten up, literally, constantly. When I need it the most, Jesus will strike my funny bone and we will laugh and laugh and laugh. I am a hot mess in heels and we laugh at that too. I believe he enjoys my escapades, at least those in which I humor him by, say, pouring cat food into my brownie mix, or putting my purse in the refrigerator. (HOLY HORMONES………) I took a walk around our property today, noticing with excitement that our pear orchard is cross-pollinating and the trees look healthy. My husband has worked hard on our vegetable garden and we are getting the rains for that and my perennial gardens. I am at peace with myself for the first time in forever. We are going on a family vacation, our first time in 25 years of marriage (that’s a story for another day, another mood.) Dwain, my husband, is happy with his move to Lezzer Lumber, and we can breathe a bit until my Social Security Disability hearing.
I heard I picked the only female judge. I hear she makes people cry. I can hear him, Jesus, laughing at my expense as we speak.