Blame it on my Irish blood, but I have been known to give the evil eye, and judging from what friends and family alike have noticed, it will kill you dead. My husband has tried to break me of the habit of staring at people, and for the most part? I don’t believe it is as much of a habit any longer. But looking back, I believe that my temper has down right terrified those who have been the subject of my ire.
As a teenager, I suffered from anorexia nervosa. I still have an eating disorder, and it is on my bucket list to have it addressed at some point. Don’t get me wrong, I eat, and no longer suffer from bulimia, but I will only eat one meal a day, and this has led to some pretty awkward situations, let me tell you. Give my mother in law a call, and ask her about holidays with me, I am sure she’d be thrilled to get some things off her chest. Sadly, I don’t even give myself a break during holidays, and she has glared at me more than once. I don’t blame her, anymore anyways.
The point is my anorexia made me mean. I didn’t know it until years of therapy and research later, but I was starving to death so my emotions and electrolytes were off. My sister and I shared a bedroom phone. It is legend in the suburbs of Philadelphia that I scared the absolute life force out of her friends. They would hang up if I answered. Looking back, I can’t even believe it was me.
I come in a small, 5 feet, 0 inches and weigh about 135 pounds. But hell hath no fury, and I mean no fury like that of a daddy’s girl who doesn’t get her way, or who has been treated unjustly, or even worse-seen other vulnerable people be taken advantage of. I have fought for what I believe in since I can remember. I remember, in sixth grade? A little snot named Kim Something was the Crossing Guard. She had a chip on her shoulder that manifested in all of it’s glory on poor, unsuspecting, why does this shit always happen to me? girls and boys. I remember one day I spit out my gum and she wrote me a ticket. And there I am, at Belmont Elementary, in her face screaming “IT’S BIODEGRADABLE YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!”
Another incident comes to mind: I was a waitress through my twenties at a Houlihan’s in King of Prussia. I loved the people I worked with, but there were a few exceptions. One afternoon, hung over and praying my station would close, another waitress butted in line for the computer. I snapped.
“Why don’t you do another line, Sady? Go do another line so you can be faster at doing nothing but getting in my fucking way.” Yeppers. Yelled it right out into the dining room. My boss was literally speechless.
I pushed Mark Folsom down the church steps after he picked on my brother one Monday evening, after CCD. He broke his front teeth out, and I couldn’t have been more pleased. He didn’t try that again for a long while, not until High School-where my brother surprised the crapola out of him by knocking him out in the hallway.
As Christians we often presume that we are to be as meek as church mice. Jesus overturned a table or two at the Temple, and standing for something means not falling for anybody else’s bullshit. God made me to roar like a lion when something is evil, and I pity the fool who mistakes my kindness for meekness.
Don’t let anyone take you out of your integrity. Fight hard for what is just, and remember-you didn’t really do it if you didn’t get caught. 🙂