When I Move, You Move

 

I chose this tune not just because I love it, but because of the title.  By the end of this blog, you’ll understand why.

Not one week ago, I wrote a blog entitled ‘Curvy Girls’.  I went on about how I love my curves and men love curves and even puppies, YES puppies love curves!  I had just smoked my medicine, and feeling light hearted and sexy-I waxed poetic.  Actually, most days?  I am okay with my body and that has been an ongoing, life long battle!  But every single month, around that special time in a women’s reproductive cycle, when she curses like a sailor and eats like a rabid wolverine-know that she is also driven to near lunacy by the twenty pounds of water weight, hapless rage and downright debauchery.  

I don’t know how or why it happens, but I forget the reason for the additional weight every stinking month.  On cue, I will notice that my golden retriever is tilting his head at me, or sulking because mommy is cursing-loudly and with great ferocity.  I think poor Jesse is as stunned as I am when my clothes don’t fit, big belly buldges come from nowhere-or the jeans I wore last week won’t slide up my ass with the previous ease.  This is the mind of the anorexic, yes.  But I’m going out on a limb, here.  I think all women struggle with self esteem, for one daunting (in their minds) reason or another.

This thought formation works itself into a tizzy, and before I know it?  I am cutting out dessert (my all time favorite meal) or watching my portion sizes.  No ice cream for this piglet.  I try eliciting a compliment from my man, but as all husbands of anorexics know-anything they say can and will be used against them.

“I have the love handle blues…,” I say, as he makes his way approximately one foot in the door.  (SMH)  Poor dude.

Ah.  Who am I to lecture anyone about their weight?

Translated in my demented mind:

About time you fat fuck!  

Pretty much a lose-lose proposition.

So, you know how when you have your period and it’s not bad enough that you feel as big as a house but you manage to bump into every fucking thing in your house.  Kind of adds to the despair, you know?

For some reason, this song came to mind today~

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