The censorship is so bad, that YouTube won’t allow you the privilege of sharing their videos. It sent me into a tizzy, for approximately 5 minutes. I quickly realized there are many different ways to access music, and I am the better off in the long run. Screw you YouTube.
I have taken my case to Abba, and asked that I not suffer the bleak blackness ever again. You see, if you are a follower of Christ trying to spread spiritual truths? You’re going to come up against heavy prosecution, it’s just the way it is.
I remember, in 2017, when I was coming to the realization that my family would never, ever be the codependent train wreck it once was. It was debilitating, overwhelming and a bitter pill to swallow: the idea that I could exist without a one of them had never crossed my mind. I put my family first, and even, I am ashamed to say, ahead of my own husband.
I hated holidays that weren’t spent with my family of origin. Instead of loving the ones I was with, I became forlorn and depressed-each and every Christmas, like clockwork. God has the power to change our hearts, from the very inside out. When your heart is where it belongs? That is when the miracles begin!
It isn’t that I don’t love my family, I do. However, I have learned the hard way that we must exist independently from our siblings and parents. If we can’t move on, and into the new family you have created, you are putting yourself in an atmosphere of misery and wont.
At some point in one’s life these ties must be, if only temporarily, severed. Once you become your own person, strong in your faith and belief system, then you can have a mutually beneficial relationship with them. Trust me, there is plenty of dysfunction to go around-you aren’t alone in feeling that your family was different. The fact is, there is no such thing as the perfect family unit. There is baggage, emotional pain, sibling rivalry and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
I made the mistake of believing the enemy’s lie: that I was somehow less than, not deserving of a loving foundation, and the more I leaned on my family for validation? Well, the more I realized that they weren’t loving on me the way that I was loving on them.
At some point in our adulthood we need to grow and nurture our relationship with our Creator, as individual beings, with purpose driven lives. Find out who you really are/want/cherish/believe as an independent agent-free of the burden to be anyone but who you truly are.
No matter what your family thinks you should be.