Fear is a Liar…

I know this is going to make me sound like a cranky old cat lady, but do I give a flying fig that Simon Cowell was in a bad mood last night?  That would be a resounding NO.  Because the television is my husband’s blanky, I am subject to the most inane bullshit this side of the Pacos.  But that drew my attention, and then I’m pissed because Simon made a little girl cry, and holy melodrama batgirl!  It is an exhausting process.

What do they do, I wonder, to make it so addictive?  I don’t even turn it on during the day, I find it depressing and suffocating in its banality.  Then again, give me a good old Hitchcock thriller and a bag of Skinny Girl popcorn (sea salt and lime please) and I’ll sit in front of the boob tube-no pun intended.

I am sharing a blog from the past, and it is my prayer that someone who is truly struggling reads this, and realizes they are not alone.   As always, I love you.

Be blessed~


I hope you never know the pain of addiction.  The terror within, knowing you could lose every person you have ever loved; the fear of life without your drug of choice can be more overwhelming that the addiction itself.  Twenty years ago, a reputable (and I lose the term lightly) dentist prescribed me 100 Vicodin, rather than fix a cracked tooth.  I had just had my wisdom teeth removed, and I had suffered a dry socket, the pain affected each and every part of my life-I welcomed the relief.

I just watched my beloved Donald J. Trump give a speech for National Prayer Day.  If he only knew what those words mean to recovering addicts nationwide-I bowed my head in prayer, and threw up my hands to a savior who changed my life-one day at a time.  I don’t think I will ever be able to adequately describe the miracle I am now living; sober, healthy and despite the enemy’s attempts?  Holy laughter fills my weary, leery heart.

Alcoholics Anonymous is a façade: an absolutely useless tool for people who are too desperate to question the twelve step program.  I had no idea, not a clue, until recently when I found my first three chips-one month, one year, five years.  I was cleaning out a drawer, and the spirit within nudged me to look closer.

Do As Thou Wilt

The words surrounded a pyramid.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  Was that the reason I watched friends die, divorce, and relapse over and over again?  I think so.  Satan is the father of ALL lies, and he seeks to destroy you.  Our only weapon against him is Jesus, and I hope you never have to test my theory.

I remember being corrected when I gave my testimony in a meeting one evening.

Don’t say God, just say your ‘higher power,’ it offends people.

That was my last evening in the building.  What I endured in those five years of meetings was nothing short of an onslaught of misery.  The hits kept coming, until the day I decided that life was too short, my faith too strong.

I didn’t need AA.

It is my prayer that God gives you the strength and the rage to get through recovery, which is a lifelong process.  If you are willing to trust in the Prince of Peace?  There you will find your freedom from oppression, dependence and the powers that presently rule this earth.

woman wearing grey long sleeved top photography
You simply cannot fathom how good it gets when you let go of the chains that bind.

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