Afflictions Eclipsed by Glory

Grief has layers, not unlike the onion.  It creeps up on you, and the realization that you loved this person more than you had imagined hits us in the solar plexus.  As the sons and daughters of a merciful and loving God, we firmly believe that our beloved has crossed over and is now home and pain free.  Yet even in the knowing, we fight the reality that this person whom we adored and perhaps took for granted is no longer by your side, helping you to fight the good fight and ease your burden.  You are better off for just having this kindred spirit in your life.

My dear friend Scott succumbed to cancer on September 22, 2019.  We were very close, and I had cared for him in the last days.  So it came as a shock when my husband phoned me this morning.

“Honey, I have some bad news,” he sighed.

I immediately thought of Scott.

“Umm, he died last Sunday.”

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My breath caught.  Last Sunday?

He spoke his comfort through the phone, and promised to stop in at lunch.

I don’t remember what I did after that, even if just hours ago.  I called a friend and wept, openly.  It was hard for her to make out my words, but her tender soothing meant the world to me.  I ended up on a hike, and to be honest I shouldn’t have been driving.  As I walked I spoke with Jesus, I spoke with my friend.  His wife was never a fan of our friendship-going as far as thinking we were intimate and stalking me two Summers ago.  On his death bed, Scott admitted to me that his wife had emotionally abused him for thirty five years.

“Sugar, you’re just emotional, you don’t mean that,” my voice broke, I felt the sting of fresh tears, this was all too much.

Long story short, he was dead serious.  Towards the end his wife asked that I “STAY AWAY” even as her husband was begging me to stay.  Hospice was long gone, he had no friends or family stopping in-his entire family kept working.

He was helpless.

“Scott, I can’t do this.  I can’t be in your wife’s home against her will.  I’m so terribly sorry,” I wrote in the text.

I’ll be okay.  The last three words I heard.

My heart was ripped apart, I prayed for the Lord to have mercy on him, that he wouldn’t suffer, that his wife muster some compassion for him, not see him as a burden.

I drove to his property, where he had planted a rare maple tree.  I could see the new bench by the tree, next to the pond.  I walked half-way across the yard, then headed back to the jeep-then back to the bench.  I didn’t care who saw me, I put my head down and wept.  I stared as a maple leaf spiraled to the ground.  I grabbed it.  The rest of the day was a blur.  I needed my husband, I didn’t want to be alone.

When Dwain didn’t answer the phone, I broke down.  The only thing in life that remotely frightens me is the loss of my husband.  My entire psyche shuts down at the mere thought of him not coming home.  I rarely have these thoughts anymore, not since Jesus took a good part of my worry away.  I truly do have that peace that surpasses understanding, but I railed at Jesus.

He understood.  He knew that I had mourned the loss of each and every person I had loved in this life.  One by one, my mother, father, best girl friend, and now Scott.  I was estranged from my nieces and nephew-my sister put the Kibosh to any hope of a relationship with them years and years ago. A story for another time.

Kill Jezebel.

I hate myself when I take my pain out on Jesus.  It wrecks me.  My husband pulled in and I fell to my knees-apologizing for the bitter words that had spewed from my fat Irish mouth.  I begged his forgiveness and asked for his mercy.

A few months ago I heard Field McConnel speak about monarch butterflies being a sign of God’s love and protection.  It stuck with me, as there was a monarch out in the middle of Lake Pleasant the moment I spread my father’s ashes.

I had known in that moment it was a God thing.

I walked out on the deck to greet my husband, still sobbing, still unhinged.

My newest adoptee purred at my feet.  She knew something was terribly wrong.  I picked her up and held her close.  She kissed me on every spot on my face, another blessing from above, Maybel is.  I looked down into my garden, and my breath caught again.  A perfect Monarch butterfly, right there before me, and in late September no less.

My tears of sadness turned to tears of joy within moments.  I went back into the house, tried to find the momentum to do, to do something.

Dwain slammed the screen door.  I looked up at him, as if to say, yes?

“Come see.  The garden is full of monarchs.”

And just like that, my afflictions were eclipsed by His glory~

The Choice to Know is Yours

We attended church this morning, and as usual?  The pastor threw me off of my game by the title of his sermon A Heart Full of Hate.  Before I wax poetic, I want you to know that I am including myself in this equation.  This isn’t a lecture or even a directive, but what the Holy Spirit is conveying to me at this space in time.

As a citizen journalist and Twitter addict, I can tell you that there have been many occasions where I have felt pure disgust and, dare I say it?  Contempt for those who are not yet awakened, not yet fully informed.  Like I was born with the knowledge myself.  No, there have been beacons of hope leading the search for the truth, Bill Smith, Bill Cooper, John F. Kennedy-I just fell into it at the exact moment that God would have me fall.

This isn’t political.  Nope.  Let’s just do away with the left and right paradigm this very minute.  Not in my blog, at least, not any longer.  This is not to say I don’t enjoy the occasional meme or political parody-no, I’m not giving that up.  Heck, I’m not a hypocrite.

I am just a child of God who sins, asks for forgiveness, and tries to repent to the best of my ability.  I fail, I fall, but He picks me right back up-time after time.  That being said, I have sought the truth and nothing but for the past three years.

The fact is that if the full news came out now, 99% of the population would be in hospital.  That is a fact.  I remember the days when I was first coming out of the fog-the things I learned or set my eyes upon could break a person, for sure.  But if we put things in perspective, and seek the voice of God in all we do?  We can handle this awakening, one day at a time.

The powers that be (I refuse to call them elite, because they are nothing but pure satanic trash) want us divided.  All of the political rhetoric in the world can not hide the fact that this had nothing, zero, nada to do with Democrats and Republicans-and everything to do with satan’s time upon this earth coming to an end:  a messy end at that.

Do you have any idea how many Republicans have left office under suspicious and disconcerting circumstances?  Do you know that you can go to usa.gov and get most of this information yourselves?  I understand that you are being fed a huge crock of bullshit on a daily basis by a media that is given its talking points at 4 a.m. by the Illuminati goons who decide what kind of Psy-op they are dishing out on any particular day.

Let’s talk about the puppet masters creating full blown hysteria in children over the issue of global warming.

Look, I would never lie to you.  GLOBAL WARMING DOES NOT EXIST.  I find it infuriating that they are robbing young boys and girls of not only their childhoods, but the hope of a future, for nothing but evil.  You want to talk about the New Green Deal?  Don’t say one effing word unless you have read it and digested the implications.

Have you any clue of the Noahide laws?

Do you know that 9/11 was perpetrated by an unholy union between Islam and this nation’s leaders?  Do you also know that this hideous day was used for satanic sacrifice on a massive scale?  Was GW on Airforce one when the first (plane) hit the twin towers?  Or was he reading to children in an outlying suburb?

Plane.  Metal.  Hit.  Kite.

Those are the very words he had an entire classroom of children repeating-over and over again.  Hmm.  Sounds like a spell, wouldn’t you say?

I spent the last hour looking for this video, which I will eventually find.

The point is that we must lay our burdens at His feet and lay our differences at the altar.  Together we are so much stronger, and love for one another is how we are known to the secular world.

All of this information is public, albeit not easy to find.

That too will change.

Tick.  Tock.  Tick.  Tock.  Tick.   Tock.

 

 

I Need You Now

 

I have a condition, it’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Under control about 95% of the time, it never fails to shock me, to shake my foundation-when I am triggered?  I fall completely apart.  The answer doesn’t lie in what triggered me at any particular moment in time.  No, the answer is letting go and letting God.

But what if you are angry with Abba at that moment in time?  Will He hear you?  Will he even give you an ear?  I used to think that if I pissed my Lord and Savior off, (the unhinged, unabridged, unadulterated meltdown comes with the caveat:

Great, now you’ve done it.  Who’s going to listen to you now?  Who will come to your aid when you call out in dire need?  Who will rock you to sleep with His own special lullaby, one that eases every crevice of your heart, one that puts you to sleep as if an army of angels lay at your feet?

The answer, as you well know, is Jesus.  Abba.  The Son of Man.  Prince of Peace, Alpha and Omega.  There is nothing, nothing on this planet, that can steal God’s love from you.  You are His beholden, His beloved child.  If you can’t cry out to God whilst in heavy duty emotional pain, well then, who?

We are in the middle of a storm, one that is blasting us with up to 65 mph winds.  I am contrary by nature-just tell me that I cannot do something and you can rest assured that is the exact thing I will yearn to do.  Hiking is out, so Fido (my nickname for my golden retriever, Jesse) and I are left to our own devices.  I have sinus issues due to a deviated septum.  Remind me to tell you that story, holy crap on a cracker it’s a good one!  Of course, I ended up with a bloody, broken nose and a lawsuit-the perp?  My best friend and roommate, Lisa Walling.  I digress….back to my angst.

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What drove me to put my head back and scream like a child?  Many things, actually.  It never ceases to amaze me, the strength God has given me for a time such as this:  I am a rock most days, because of His mercy and grace.

I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

For the last year and a half, I have fought the good fight-at least when it comes to the Great Awakening.  I have researched subjects such as Child Trafficking, The Deep State Cabal, Satanic Ritual Abuse, the dozens of attempts on President Trump’s life-and as I watched the latest video from The Patriot Hour (love that man, go check him out, tell him I sent you) explaining Nancy Pelosi’s latest attempt at foiling The Donald.  Her mission?  To assassinate the President and Vice President-making her the first female president, and God help me, who wants THAT?

The story goes that she took 93 of her closest friends, family and politicians with her on a commercial flight to Afghanistan, among other destinations.  The unmitigated nerve of that woman-to once again try to put it on our tab-she is known for spending thousands and thousands of tax payer dollars on booze.  She is unfathomably rich, and on a government salary-it makes you wonder.  Just take a look at her district, but fair warning, you may become physically ill, or perhaps fall into a blind rage, as I just did, in my laundry room.

So, as I said, it surprises me that I can research evil incarnate, but my dog barking to go out for the thirteenth time in an hour (he does it for treats) in the midst of an almost-hurricane?  Well, that had me squealing like a hogtied pig.

“Arggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

And of course, after screaming at my dog (never, ever have I done that) I broke down into hysterics; ranting and raving, then begging His forgiveness.  I sat down with my pooch and apologized, over and over again.  He kissed my tears away, sat beside me on the couch, as if to say-it’s okay mom, I get it, I really, really do.

I sat down and pondered my throbbing headache, urge to pound sand and other messy, complicated feelings.  Lord, where is this coming from?

And He answered me, and quickly at that.

This Border Wall argument has nothing to do with illegals, or even a border wall…bare with me.  The elite of this world are vampires, who suck the blood out of innocent, traumatized children for adrenochrome.  I have seen evidence of this.  If the country closes its doors to illegal aliens, then where will the Cabal get their blood?  Illegals are easy to target, we have no record of them-when they go missing?  No one but their families know-and how can they prove what happened to their beloved son, daughter, brother, sister, friend?

With acoustic astronomy, scientists are able to observe and listen to the sounds and vibrations of space.  They have found that stars don’t orbit in silence, but rather generate music in the mysterious night sky.  Like humpback whale sounds, the resonance of stars exist at wavelengths or frequencies that may not be heard by the human ears.  Yet, this music, combined with that of the whales and other creatures create a symphony that proclaims the greatness of God.

Now, a question for you.  Who will you turn to when the laughter abets, the tide turns to red, or the evil permeates the air you breathe?

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

 

 

 

Road to Nowhere

Seriously, why don’t they just give up?  We have a duly elected president who’s kicking ass and taking names, great economy, the best unemployment numbers for blacks in history, border walls being built, the second amendment protected AND he is leading the fight against pedophilia and human trafficking (not to mention separating the wheat from the tares)

We ELECTED him, excuse me!!!  WTF?

These crybabies are on my last effing nerve.  Sorry, no sugar coating it today-I tried.  My Gawd!  We have antifa in the streets, people stopping traffic to raise awareness for Climate Change-ok, reality check-there is no such thing as global warming.  It doesn’t exist and the intricacies of this particular psy-op are a bit too complicated for what I wanted this particular blog to achieve.

And that, mon amies, is to make you laugh.

The Great Meme War of 2019

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We’re on the road to nowhere…

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Come on let’s ride.

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We’re on the road to nowhere…

Baby it’s alright,

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Baby it’s alright.

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And I couldn’t let this beauty, found in Jeffrey Epstein’s New York mansion, go unnoticed.

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Grand Finale

 

Impeachment My A$$

I remember what it was like when I worked and didn’t have a moment to return a phone call, let alone do research.

I am preparing this blog, working on issues that matter in this time and in this space.

Alas, I must go grocery shopping-but I will leave you with this.

Talk amongst yourselves.

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Don’t You Monkey With the Monkey

I should probably just pack my bags and buy the train ticket.  I don’t have a square to spare, and my popularity in this neighborhood just took a nosedive of epic proportions.

When I say my “popularity” I jest.   It went like this:  one day I woke up and everyone in this rural area despised me-only I didn’t get the memo.  Let’s see, my in laws live directly across the street, my ex-best friend (who almost killed my cat in a fit of narcissistic rage) lives next door.  On the other side lives Ruthy Kupp, a gossiping, church going hypocrite bar none.  We live in her father’s house.  Never had a problem with her and I am assuming she had one too many convos with the monster in law.  I simply don’t know what else it could be.  She has treated me like dog crap for years now, but today?  Oh today was not the day to poke this bear.

She lives alone, but there was a time that we visited her and her husband often.  We took them to have their German Shepherd put down, she took care of our animals when we went away, we had dinner together at least once a year.  I stopped by often, with my golden retriever Dylan (I miss you buddy, rest in peace) and brought food when Kuppy died.

One day, just out of the blue, she wouldn’t look at me.   She drove down the street, beeping at each and every home but ours.  When we went to visit her after her knee surgery, she spoke with everyone in the room sans moi, and it was then that I stopped giving a shit.  You can only do so much.

When people stop talking to you/loving you for no apparent reason?  You can bet your apple brown betty there’s a narc in the shadows, lying about you, and this case screamed Dolly, my MIL.  Some days it flows off of my back like water off a duck’s ass, and other days…not so much.

And so it was, earlier today, when returning from our hike that I passed her house.  She was walking down her ramp, and I slowed down to wave-frankly, I didn’t know what else to do.

Nothing.  Just a grimace and a wince.

“SCREW YOU RUTH,” I said, under my breath.

And then the devil took over.  I hadn’t a moment’s notice when I let all hell break loose.

“SCREW.  YOU.  RUTH!!!”

I immediately phoned my husband to warn him.  He wasn’t angry, but he didn’t exactly lol either.

“Oh, honey.”

I apologized to Jesus.  Told Him I would repent.  I pulled into the garage and the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.  Alas, my Tourette’s had its way, and I yelled once again-

“FUCKING HYPOCRITE,” I bellowed.

As luck would have it, another unfriendly neighbor, Rose, was walking past the house.

Well, my thought cloud read, that should seal the deal.

 

 

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

You are witnessing the systematic disassembly of the shadow government, and today Trump was a beacon of hope to those of us who have been working and waiting for this day to come.

Yep, it’s habbening.

The unmitigated gall of some people (did something)

911-Bush

Not to be rude, but if you don’t know that 9/11 was an inside job, perpetuated by the greed of Poppa Bush and the Cabal?  You should probably step off.

Hey, God woke me up for a reason and it was the hardest, most frightening time in my life.  I went through it, am still going through it, alone-with the exception of my best friend Jason.  He can’t talk to anyone about this “conspiracy” stuff either, his husband won’t have it, no, not for a moment!

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Yeppers, friends-the icing on the cupcake of years and years of investigations, biblical prophecy and evil so prevalent it will change the course of your life and everything you thought you knew about it.

[They] fell into Trump’s trap once again, and have shown themselves to be the traitorous backbiters that they are-and I am not alone in anticipating their downfall with glee.

Hey!  Here’s the list of craptastic players in the game, not exclusive by any means:

Hillary Rodham Clinton 

Barry and Michael Obama

Joe Biden

Chuck Schumer

Nancy Pelosi

Elizabeth Warren

AOC

Kamala Harris

Kristen Gillebrand

 

Do your homework, put on the full armor of God, and get yourselves some popcorn.

Enjoy the show!