I have to start out by telling you I have consumed my happy juice and am a bit crosseyed at this time. But praise Jesus, for he has given us every herb, plant and fruit bearing tree so that we will live healthy, peaceful lives. Medicinal. Used for my CPTSD, it can take me from despair to joy, and that my friends is worth its weight in gold.
I’ve been thinking about what is happening in this world, and obviously, it all but freaks me out. After watching a video I shouldn’t have, I was overwhelmed-feeling as if the entire three ring circus was on my back. First sad. Then frantic. Then Jesus.
I tell him, Jesus! I am clinging to your robes today, I need you badly!
These are the times when I run, full throttle, all engines on to God. I picture myself running in to his amazing hug, and hear him say There, there child.
I can’t do this Jesus.
I know too much, why do I know so much and when did you make the decision to take a scaredy cat like this girl, and lead her in the direction of Doom. Real news. Investigative reporting. I have felt the Holy Spirit driving me in this direction, and some days? Down with the ship I go.
He never pushes, never demands.
I come to the realization that He alone is my Lord and Savior. He will not leave me nor forsake me. He is in control.
I take a long hot shower. I plug in my tiny white lights strategically placed all over my home, to give comfort. Put some cinnamon on the stove. And then He takes me back to who I was before I got clean. I am profoundly grateful.
I fall into His arms.