S.O.S.

Original post dated February 2020

I will send out an army to find you!

Good Friday morning to you all. Patriots are in control! Our children are being rescued by the thousands: soon the Deep State will be nothing but a bad dream and our beloved Donald J. Trump is gunning for the pedophiles, the vampires and he will not fail. Find comfort in your families, friends-but most importantly? Dress yourselves in the full armor of God.

My apologies for not writing for a week, but my methods were twofold: [they] shut down my computer immediately after I wrote my blog on Somerset Belenoff. I was infuriated! Second laptop in two years, but hey, this time I will ask for the VPN special package, and I might even throw a few bucks in for the latest program that incudes Grammarly, etc.

The second reason is this-it just so happened that I was kicked off Twitter the very same day! I don’t know how you felt? But the Super bowl (there was an option for Superb Owl in spell check???) half time show took me from the edge of the cliff right on down to the very bottomless pit of despair, rage and nausea.

I know there are those of you who are screaming WHAT’S WRONG WITH IT? Sugar, if you knew what I knew? You’d be whistling Dixie right there beside me, in the pit.

Shakira’s tongue gyrations and Oscar winning viper performance put me off.

I am a bit short on the uptake, but I realized in short order that God wanted me to take a break. I was at the point that I had pretty much sacrificed any semblance of a life for the past three years-although my friends were frantically searching for me, it felt so liberating! I won’t have a new pc for awhile so-from here on out it will be Saturdays or Sundays when my husband’s computer is available.

I felt a push from the Holy Spirit to check in on you all, to let you know I am praying and loving you on all days-and my future blogging will be centered on The Great Awakening and giving you the comfort and information to make as smooth of a transition as possible. I know in my heart that Jesus cleared a path for me to write for this very reason, and please let me know of any questions/concerns you would like me to address.

I was beating myself up pretty good the other day; it surprised me as I hadn’t gone there in some time. I find that there is always a reason and never a coincidence that God allows us to go through any hardship. The last years was a doozy, but that’s why it’s called the Tribulation and not Super Duper Hilarious Happy Hour. There will be days where you will want to give up, or even get scared. Fear is the biggest liar of all time, and this I know because I believed a lifetime of lies that had nothing to do with reality.

If you are feeling broken, call out His name. And one more thing-we are winning the battle, we are the victors in this game-God promised us this.

The meek shall inherit the earth.

Public Enemy Number ONE

The gloves are going to have to come off. No matter the cost I must get the truth out to you and I’m going to ask you to do something I have never asked before: I want you to share this blog with everyone you know.

We are in the midst of a war of biblical proportions. This has nothing to do with a virus-and everything to do with a battle we know God will win. The mainstream media is finished, and I will be the first to say good riddance. The more of us awake? The better to fight this evil with everything in our mind, body and soul.

We all need to take a deep breath and come to terms with the reality that the times we are living in haven’t truly changed at all. We are at war against evil comparable to the times of ancient Babylon. There are ancient bloodlines, fallen angels and the fact that we are not the only people on this planet.

We have to put on our big boy pants my friends. We need to be vigilant in our mission to save humankind from the grasp of an elite so vile-well, it can and will break a person.

Those who know cannot sleep.

Everything that is hidden is about to be exposed. Project Mockingbird, the Hollywood/D.C. death cult who worship the Baphomet, take our children and yes, as hard as this is for me to say-torturing them in order to not only get high on Adrenochrome but as part of a satanic ritual. These “people” are not human. They are positively demons, and possibly reptilians. There are videos on the subject, and until I did extensive research I didn’t believe it myself. That is a topic for another day.

This is a go to channel. This is John F. Kennedy Jr.

There is literally no reason to panic. You are safe in your homes. The children depend on us all getting our acts together. We must awaken for their sake, time is of the essence.

S.O.S.

I will send out an army to find you~

My apologies for not writing for a week, but my methods were twofold: [they] shut down my computer immediately after I wrote my blog on Somerset Belenoff. I was infuriated! Second laptop in two years, but hey, this time I will ask for the VPN special package, and I might even throw a few bucks in for the latest program that incudes Grammarly, etc.

The second reason is this-it just so happened that I was kicked off Twitter the very same day! I don’t know how you felt? But the Super bowl (there was an option for Superb Owl in spell check???) half time show took me from the edge of the cliff right on down to the very bottomless pit of despair, rage and nausea.

I know there are those of you who are screaming WHAT’S WRONG WITH IT? Sugar, if you knew what I knew? You’d be whistling Dixie right there beside me, in the pit.

Shakira’s tongue gyrations and Oscar winning viper performance put me off.

I am a bit short on the uptake, but I realized in short order that God wanted me to take a break. I was at the point that I had pretty much sacrificed any semblance of a life for the past three years-although my friends were frantically searching for me, it felt so liberating! I won’t have a new pc for awhile so-from here on out it will be Saturdays or Sundays when my husband’s computer is available.

I felt a push from the Holy Spirit to check in on you all, to let you know I am praying and loving you on all days-and my future blogging will be centered on The Great Awakening and giving you the comfort and information to make as smooth of a transition as possible. I know in my heart that Jesus cleared a path for me to write for this very reason, and please let me know of any questions/concerns you would like me to address.

I was beating myself up pretty good the other day; it surprised me as I hadn’t gone there in some time. I find that there is always a reason and never a coincidence that God allows us to go through any hardship. The last years was a doozy, but that’s why it’s called the Tribulation and not Super Duper Hilarious Happy Hour. There will be days where you will want to give up, or even get scared. Fear is the biggest liar of all time, and this I know because I believed a lifetime of lies that had nothing to do with reality.

If you are feeling broken, call out His name. And one more thing-we are winning the battle, we are the victors in this game-God promised us this.

The meek shall inherit the earth.

The Turning Point

There comes a point in one’s life when they stop fighting.  You know the person because, hopefully, you are the person who may be the family oddball, black sheep or scapegoat-primarily because you can think for yourself.  When you break the chains of codependency, you truly live in a land of freedom; but may I caution you to maybe, if possible, not argue, harass or demean anyone for any reason-especially for their political or private beliefs.

The past three years have hardened our determination to fight for God and country.  Yet we are weary and battle fatigued; some of us have PTSD, others family in the military.  Basically a group of anonymous patriots who want our God given rights to be protected, our children safe, human trafficking ended.  Our families divided, our friendships lost-it adds up and it is my belief that most of us just want the truth to come out.

Yet we remain in suspended animation, awaiting the other shoe dropping-the one that will send the people you love reeling in thoughts of hopelessness, or helplessness.  I have learned a few things about the Great Awakening, and in so doing Jesus has shown me how to overcome any thoughts of enmity or rage.  I have come through to the other side, through persecution and great grief-and now I want nothing but God, love and peace in my life.

I’m not perfect, I still fight dirty on Twitter when I’m fatigued.  I can meme with the best of them, but I try to do it with humor.  I will not fight, condemn or fear another man.  Simply put?  Don’t harsh my mellow man.

You hide in your mansion, with young people’s blood…   – Dylan

For every fallen angel, demon and predator-to those of you who hide in the dark alleys and crawl the crevices-God have mercy on your souls.

The best we can do, as soldiers of Christ, is allow His love to fill our hearts, His grace to calm our souls.  We need to love one another back to health, one day, one need at a time.

The Storm has finally arrived.

I hear it’s going to be biblical~

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There Was a Formula

My freakishly large head is spinning, I am reticent to say this-you know, like when you state out loud that your  marriage is better than it’s ever been, and then you have the worst fight ever; so I’ll just put this out there:  the last few days of my life have been, for lack of a better word-perfect.

My idea of perfection is one of very simple values.  My faith and Jesus come first, and I cling to His robes each and every day.  After that?  The health and emotional welfare of my husband, my dog and myself.  I married a man I am still crushing on, and he is my best friend.  I am sober, my depression is lifting as we head towards Fall. My flower beds are bursting with Zinnias, roses, butterfly bushes and bubble gum pink petunias.  We like our new place of worship, and the pastor is red pilling my husband.  Bliss.   I have a Lord and Savior who loves me, passionately, as He loves you.

There is no fear nor condemnation in Christ.

I was reading out of the book of Proverbs just now

I see a change in the direction of my writing.   The focus  will be the same: Christ-centered, authentic and sassy-it’s the way I roll, so thank you all for reading my musings! It is my constant prayer that they will reach the eyes that bleed for comfort and community. Here goes nothing!

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

The really important things in life can’t be said, only shown.
– Ludwig Wittgenstein

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A while back I wrote about a friend from church who had told me God spoke to her in the early morning hours, about me, about my loneliness-as she was going down her prayer list. Unable to sleep, Lisa grabbed her Holy Bible, and asked the Holy Spirit to guide her in prayer. When she came to my name, the message was loud and clear:

She will have beautiful and meaningful relationships. She went on to try to explain just how much of a blessing this would be, but she cried with me instead.

I think of her and that moment often, even daily. Over the past few years, I have traded my sob story for one of real and true joy and reconciliation. Sadly, some of the changes did not suit a few of the people I had been holding on to; long after I knew that there was little left to grasp.

SCRIPTURE OF THIS GLORIOUS DAY

Kind people do themselves a favor, but cruel people bring trouble on themselves. -Proverbs 11:17 NCV

I quietly walked away from those who knew me as my former self. The friends who knew me to be a people pleasing, bleeding heart doormat-who allowed herself to be treated very poorly. I cannot stress the importance of one of the keys to happiness: you’ve heard this a million, zillion times before, but if you don’t love yourselfit will be impossible to gain the respect and love of others.

Although I have decided to keep the posts about Narcissistic Abuse and Complicated Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to the bare minimum (I have seen professionals who suffered at the hands of a narcissist make careers out of helping other survive the phenomena. While I respect the hell out of these people, I can not, will not allow this family tragedy define who I am. In order to survive, I am putting the past where it belongs. At the moment, the California fires are raging: these are not the usual forest fire-and they are headed oh so steadily towards my brother and his family. I have no way of knowing if they are okay. I have no way of knowing if ANY of my family is okay; so I will let go and let God.

However, there is so much to be said for sticking to your guns-not allowing others to control the narrative. Guard your heart, that’s what the Lord says-and in doing so I have emerged as if a Phoenix rising: finally able to be myself. No peanut gallery comments, such as:

After years of struggling with alcoholism and depression:

“Are you on the right medication? I think you may be Bipolar.”

After hosting mon frère for lunch (last time we spoke, in August)

“Quite sure you suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. Have a great weekend.” Sent via email. And after telling my estranged sister not to bother showing up at my funeral:

“You fucked up Michele. YOU FUCKED UP.” This, by the way, from my “best” friend who almost killed my cat while we were in upstate NY last year on vacation.

SONG OF THE DAY

Oh, Happy National Dog Day, by the by.

My sweet boy.  Jesse Bocephus Happy Hoffmananoff.  Stay 6!

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Fearless

Fear. Gripping, faceless, heart-stopping emotion. Different things frighten different people-but I remember, even as a child-being petrified by everything. I believe the dysfunction stemmed from a childhood in which I was raised by two incredibly anxious parents. As the years went by, I grew more and more fearful. Heights. Highways. Social venues. The straw that broke my back was the stalking I experienced two years ago-I dove into a depression so devastating, I thought for sure I would die of heartache. The world was becoming an increasingly violent place, and I wanted no parts of it, none.

I dove into the Word last Summer. The more I read the scriptures, the deeper my peace became. I began stepping out of my comfort zone: crossed a wooden bridge 800 in the air, over a rolling, rocky river. That was Jesus and to this day, I remember the way in which my terror was transformed within moments. After giving my husband a firm NO WAY, I quietly asked my Abba,

“Give me the strength Father, for Dwain. Let me be brave for my husband.”

Seconds later? I crossed that bridge like a boss, without any trepidation. I walked that rickety death trap twice, as we had to use the bridge to return to our truck, after having visited the other side of the river. One day I will find and share those pictures, as they may inspire hope in fellow Chicken Littles.

I began trusting Jesus for everything. Seemingly overnight, my crippling fear eased into a new normal, of brazen acts and caution, thrown oh so carefully to the wind. I put on the full armor of God. I prayed without ceasing, and failed often and miserably. One day I took notice. I stopped to reflect, to look back and see how incredibly far I’d come-how loved and cared for I had always been. I take it minute by minute, literally. I know the Holy Spirit will lead me to discernment. I force nothing-if it doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t get done.

In days such as these, when courage is required to simply be, it is as simple as calling out His name. I have my bad days, but not for stretches of time, as before. I know what to do, in those darkened hours of grief and angst: he will never desert you, ever.

No matter how hard it is, no matter what the size or magnitude of your pain, reach out to Jesus. He knows each and every hair on your freakishly large head. 🙂

Orphan Girl

 

God is calling me back from the news, the heartache and raw emotion:  He is lovingly nudging me towards a gentler, kinder version of myself.  I am treading water in a pool of nothingness.  I feel joy once again.

Today is my beloved mother’s birthday.  We love you, Mary Lou.  Sigh.  It never truly goes away, grief.  I wonder at the force of love, the easing of the pain that comes with time.  Also, an understanding of why and who she was:  an absolute rock in times of crises, a nurturing caregiver, a best friend; despite the years of emotional abuse.  My mother had the same problems with her own mother-a lack of boundaries, codependency and still, unyielding love.

I’d give anything to see her again.  Anything really.

There is the scent of her perfume in the air-I double check, yes, L’aire Du Temps.  I reach out to Jesus, and ask that he tells her I love her.  The candle lights the window, and she is here, oh yes, she is here.

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