I chose this tune not just because I love it, but because of the title. By the end of this blog, you’ll understand why.
Not one week ago, I wrote a blog entitled ‘Curvy Girls’. I went on about how I love my curves and men love curves and even puppies, YES puppies love curves! I had just smoked my medicine, and feeling light hearted and sexy-I waxed poetic. Actually, most days? I am okay with my body and that has been an ongoing, life long battle! But every single month, around that special time in a women’s reproductive cycle, when she curses like a sailor and eats like a rabid wolverine-know that she is also driven to near lunacy by the twenty pounds of water weight, hapless rage and downright debauchery.
I don’t know how or why it happens, but I forget the reason for the additional weight every stinking month. On cue, I will notice that my golden retriever is tilting his head at me, or sulking because mommy is cursing-loudly and with great ferocity. I think poor Jesse is as stunned as I am when my clothes don’t fit, big belly buldges come from nowhere-or the jeans I wore last week won’t slide up my ass with the previous ease. This is the mind of the anorexic, yes. But I’m going out on a limb, here. I think all women struggle with self esteem, for one daunting (in their minds) reason or another.
This thought formation works itself into a tizzy, and before I know it? I am cutting out dessert (my all time favorite meal) or watching my portion sizes. No ice cream for this piglet. I try eliciting a compliment from my man, but as all husbands of anorexics know-anything they say can and will be used against them.
“I have the love handle blues…,” I say, as he makes his way approximately one foot in the door. (SMH) Poor dude.
Ah. Who am I to lecture anyone about their weight?
Translated in my demented mind:
About time you fat fuck!
Pretty much a lose-lose proposition.
So, you know how when you have your period and it’s not bad enough that you feel as big as a house but you manage to bump into every fucking thing in your house. Kind of adds to the despair, you know?
For some reason, this song came to mind today~