Into His Arms…

I have to start out by telling you I have consumed my happy juice and am a bit crosseyed at this time.  But praise Jesus, for he has given us every herb, plant and fruit bearing tree so that we will live healthy, peaceful lives.  Medicinal.  Used for my CPTSD, it can take me from despair to joy, and that my friends is worth its weight in gold.

I’ve been thinking about what is happening in this world, and obviously, it all but freaks me out.  After watching a video I shouldn’t have, I was overwhelmed-feeling as if the entire three ring circus was on my back.  First sad.  Then frantic.  Then Jesus.

I tell him, Jesus! I am clinging to your robes today, I need you badly!

These are the times when I run, full throttle, all engines on to God.  I picture myself running in to his amazing hug, and hear him say There, there child.

I can’t do this Jesus.

I know too much, why do I know so much and when did you make the decision to take a scaredy cat like this girl, and lead her in the direction of Doom.  Real news.  Investigative reporting.  I have felt the Holy Spirit driving me in this direction, and some days?  Down with the ship I go.

He never pushes, never demands.

I come to the realization that He alone is my Lord and Savior.  He will not leave me nor forsake me.  He is in control.  

I take a long hot shower.  I plug in my tiny white lights strategically placed all over my home, to give comfort.  Put some cinnamon on the stove.  And then He takes me back to who I was before I got clean.  I am profoundly grateful.

I fall into His arms.

Farewell My Friend, Farewell

This tops any list I may have previously held for myself, in terms of the most painful things I have had to write.  I don’t want to write, but I know deep down, that if I don’t-I will free fall into the dark recesses of my depression.  God knows how badly I want that never to happen again.

I met John eight years ago, when I worked at their family owned kennel.  My husband grew up with him, but I knew very little; only that he had suffered from the same oral cancer as my brother in law.  I knew he was in remission, but his wife worried constantly about his health.  What began as straight out intimidation soon turned to a quiet fondness of his gentle spirit and obvious physical strength.   I could talk to John, be myself, content in the knowledge that he felt the same way.  It wasn’t long before our relationship was misconstrued.  We didn’t speak for two entire years.

When we did rekindle our friendship, it was with the knowledge that his cancer had returned, and he didn’t want treatment.  I spoke with his wife on several occasions, stopping at the kennel to offer support.

If you asked either one of us, we would not be able to explain our bond; yet it is that of a brother and sister.  No boundaries were ever broken, not even a kiss on the cheek.

I hadn’t stopped in for weeks, and my guilt was getting the better of me.  I was also terrified, out of my mind.  Over the weekend, I told him I would visit today; not realizing he had taken a turn of the very worst kind.  As I pulled into the driveway, I caught a glimpse of him on the deck.  My heart smashed to pieces, and before I had a chance to think, John whisked me away in his golf cart.

“I want to talk, let’s go for a ride,” he said.

I argued about him driving, he shushed me away.  I was concerned with the dog, worried he wouldn’t turn the bend and find us.  He pointed toward the weeping cherry he had planted as a reminder of his place on this earth.  I was here.  I mean the world to you, and I will always, always love you.  Don’t, oh please, don’t forget your time with me.

It was explained in so many heartbreaking words that I wasn’t exactly welcome around the house.  I was shell shocked.  I thought we had worked through this and I couldn’t have felt more betrayed or misunderstood.  But I couldn’t begin to imagine her pain-if I was grieving, I couldn’t imagine how she must feel.  I gasped for air, shifted in my seat.  I began talking and stopped, it was his illness, not mine.

We sat under the apple tree and wept, for what appeared to be hours, but was only moments in time.

“I know you understand, you have to go now.”

I understood,  and said farewell.

Farewell is not goodbye.

 

 

Dark to a Light so Bright

I’m running rather late today, I do apologize.  There comes a time in every woman’s life when she needs to wake up and smell the dirty laundry laying in her mud room.  Today was about that and flea control.  Look, I don’t want to complain-I have so much gratitude for the blessings, and their are many, that God has bestowed upon my family.

From here on out family=Dwain and myself, Jesse our golden retriever, and my 14 outdoor cats.  Please don’t judge me-I live out in the country where random imbeciles think it proper to dump their unwanted (often abused) felines in my front yard.  Over the years we have cared for over 200 cats, and even back in the day when we had no stove, no food and no cable.  I have succumbed to the lull of life’s luxuries, and frankly?  A roof over our heads, gardens full of vegetables and insanely beautiful flowers and herbs.  We have an overabundance of food these days-I used to horde food whenever possible, now I realize that God will meet our needs.  What extra we do have will be given to Christian ministries around our community.

I was listening to Field McConnel yesterday.  If you have never heard of him, put down what you’re doing and subscribe to Abel Danger.  Field and his wife Deniseare two of the bravest, sassiest, and patriotic God fearing people I have had the pleasure of watching.  And to think I almost abandoned him completely when he spoke about Zim appointments and 800 numbers.  Turns out he was feeding the Zim scam information to the trolls on his station.  If you don’t know what the Zim scam is, I highly suggest you remain ignorant and avoid it like the plague; most people with a modicum of discernment have no problem doing so.

I can only listen to thirty minutes at a time, but believe me, I hang on every word he utters-I don’t want to miss some of the best military intel available.

So, they were talking about taking resumes for a program that will help normies (the sleeping) as they awaken.  He was asking for medical personnel.  Let that sink in for a moment.  Those of us who have diligently followed Q, even when we wanted to pull every hair out of our heads, know everything.  We have known for years, give or take a few facts that are just now coming to the surface.  This is about the very time I started to realize the enormity of the problem.  Q told us that if the public were made aware of these horiffic and satanic acts, that 99% of them would have to be hospitalized.

They say you don’t know how strong you truly are until your courage is put to the test.  Every single anon in the community has, at one time, suffered the stages of a grief so astronomical it’s right off the charts.  That being said, most of us are in the “acceptance” stage.  Any Q detractor will tell you this was a Psy-op, yada, yada, yada.  NO.  This was the pure genius of Donald John Trump-the most transparent administration of our time.  We were given the “sauce” through the 4 and 8 chans communications:  detailed info graphs in which we were schooled in reality-the good, the bad, and the downright putrid.

In the days and weeks ahead, please remain calm and in prayer.  Remember:  this has been going on for centuries, and that we are now fighting evil in every dimension-and it turns out that we, or God, is winning.  There will be help available in the form of support teams; medical professionals and good men and women who want to ensure that you go through this transition with  much love and kindness afforded to you.

I pray that an army of angels fly before and behind you.  Be strong, know that God is in control.  Believe that the hard part is over, thanks to our beloved president, the military, and team Storm.  We owe God and these heroes our very lives-anyone who tries to tell you differently?  They don’t know jack shit.

 

 

 

 

Into His Arms…

I have to start out by telling you I have consumed my happy juice and am a bit crosseyed at this time.  But praise Jesus, for he has given us every herb, plant and fruit bearing tree so that we will live healthy, peaceful lives.  Medicinal.  Used for my CPTSD, it can take me from despair to joy, and that my friends is worth its weight in gold.

I’ve been thinking about what is happening in this world, and obviously, it all but freaks me out.  After watching a video I shouldn’t have, I was overwhelmed-feeling as if the entire three ring circus was on my back.  First sad.  Then frantic.  Then Jesus.

I tell him, Jesus! I am clinging to your robes today, I need you badly!

These are the times when I run, full throttle, all engines on to God.  I picture myself running in to his amazing hug, and hear him say There, there child.

I can’t do this Jesus.

I know too much, why do I know so much and when did you make the decision to take a scaredy cat like this girl, and lead her in the direction of Doom.  Real news.  Investigative reporting.  I have felt the Holy Spirit driving me in this direction, and some days?  Down with the ship I go.

He never pushes, never demands.

I come to the realization that He alone is my Lord and Savior.  He will not leave me nor forsake me.  He is in control.  

I take a long hot shower.  I plug in my tiny white lights strategically placed all over my home, to give comfort.  Put some cinnamon on the stove.  And then He takes me back to who I was before I got clean.  I am profoundly grateful.

I fall into His arms.

The Pill Mill……….

When I was younger, I was appalled at how many pills my mother took.  She was extremely ill, emphysema, cancer, osteoporosis.  She died at 59, after the doctors mistook an ovarian cyst to be scar tissue.  I wish I had known then what I now know.  Mary Lou had every symptom of Ovarian cancer, the extreme bloating, constipation, pain and upset stomach.  When the doctor came in to the waiting room, I had to be held back by my siblings-the jerk never listened to her, I was there when he did an exam after her complaining: he felt her stomach and abdomen-she was fully clothed, why bother right? I was there when he told her she was “fine, absolutely fine.”

What shocked me, after her death, was the bottles and bottles of Ativan-she took 4 a day, and I thought that to be too much, too addicting, too sedating.  Now?  I take Ativan daily.  As a prn.  Ironically, the first time I ever took one was the day of her funeral.  Surrounded by friends, I fell asleep on the couch-and didn’t wake up until the following morning.  What addict is going to turn that away?  It was easier to let the melodic pull of oblivion take me away, to dreamless sleep and few cares, if any.

Today I take 200 mg. of Zoloft, 2 mg. Suboxyne for opiate addiction (down from 8 mg. and let me tell you, it was rough, really rough to taper) and one Trazadone for sleep.   My husband thinks this appalling, but I have fought hard to maintain an appearance of normality-in an increasingly abnormal world.

I can tell you that as a nurse, EMT and hospice worker, I could not get into the Suboxyne program soon enough.  I was in a dirty city, walking the streets of dilapidated houses, children in various stages of undress, and very scary men, who gathered on street corners to deal their goods, help a friend in “need.”  I asked a few of them, but as white on rice as I look?  They didn’t touch me with a ten foot pole.  Looking back, I think they thought me a cop.

I was working as a private duty nurse, and volunteering at a local hospice.  I was starting to face withdrawal from OxyContin, and I didn’t want to be the girl who steals patient’s pills.  My cousin by marriage (not a normal person in that family) ran a methadone clinic, and rehab.  I had attended that rehab until our fearless leader Tony called me out on missing a class, in front of the entire room.  When you quit drinking you are wired out of your mind, so many emotions coming from one heart-it’s maddening and exciting at the same time.  I told him off, asked why he allowed drinkers and cokeheads to use in our meetings (was this even remotely fair to the others who were serious about recovery?) and slammed out the door.  He wasn’t going to use me as an example when people were slumped in their chairs, or re-dusting the entire room, like the energizer bunny on crack.

Anyway, back to Scott.  I called him from my  locked car that very day.  I told him where I was, and I asked if I could come to the methadone clinic to talk to him.  He shut me down, but two minutes later?  I heard a commercial about Suboxyne: it has served me well, saved my career and, most likely, my life.  My advice to anyone starting the program?  Start at a really low milligram, that way you won’t have to detox every time you take a step down.  I ended up calling my girlfriend one morning, I literally couldn’t move, I was that weak.

“I can’t take it.  Would you please take me to the doctor?”

The good doctor had taken me off, cold turkey.  We had argued about my use of cannabis, and I stormed out-only to return a week later, begging for mercy.  And, thankfully, that is exactly what I was given.

What I would like to say is, don’t let anyone convince you to go off of any medication you may be taking for your mental health, especially if the plan is working.  Do I like having to take meds on a daily basis?  NO.  But one day, perhaps, the stigma will stop.  No  matter, because I have come to the point where I just don’t care what others think.

It’s not their body.  It’s not their mind.  It’s none of their business.

Chimes of Freedom

I don’t care how strong or stoic you are; when it comes to your heart, or the breaking of it; your grief will find its way. Losing my ability to run from my emotions today, I finally let go and cried on my golden retriever’s neck-is there any better place for waterworks? Your canine/feline’s neck? Sigh.

The fall weather makes my heart sing-I love the cool air, the life transforming sunsets, and the harvest of a hard Summer’s work. Everything, from hay rides to pumpkins-it’s all good, I treasure every day. Big blankets, cinnamon burning on the stove, my pup at my feet. A Holy Bible. A Dean Koons. A warm cup of cocoa next to the fireplace, even if it is just gas. Our wood stove in the kitchen, cranking out heat so strong I walk around buck naked some days: the hot flashes don’t bode well with my husband’s desire to warm his feet, which have no circulation due to frostbite obtained in a long ago hunting trip.

My day turned from glorious to harsh reality in ten seconds flat. While hiking at Speedwell Forge, a beautiful but far away place. We go there maybe every two weeks, and due to recent flooding-we hadn’t been in months. Halfway through the trek I took out my cell. A screen I had seen only once before appeared; some sci-fi looking alert. I couldn’t turn the stupid phone off, and I was set to take pictures of an ethereal waterfall. I knew I was being targeted, and I was wild.

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I took my phone apart and head out towards the jeep. I was furious. Speech is not free in America, and hasn’t been for some time now. If you have a voice that goes against the mainstream media, you will be silenced. Period. Not only will they shadow ban on social media, but they will fuck with your electronics until you’re at the point of pulling your hair out. Literally.

Do you have any idea of how long it takes me to write a blog? Hours. The screen will go blank just as I am getting going, suddenly I will lose my work-even after I have saved it. It sounds silly, but after two years of this crap, I am beyond angered, frustrated, homicidal. Okay, not homicidal, but seriously?

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I have taken on an assignment from Jesus. For two years I have been led, by the nose at times, on a quest for truth. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS (the deep state contains more than a few Republicans, Mike Pence being a satanic, POS pedophile himself-and yes, I have proof)and due to the successful mission of Project Mockingbird-the media is full of CIA operatives, who are trained to “brainwash” the lowly general public. I will write more on this subject, and include research affirming my statements.

The point of all of this is that while I have no choice in the matter; while I don’t go down the rabbit holes with any joy in my heart; the fact is, this is how God wants to use me, in the here and now. He has been preparing me for such a time as this. Losing friends and family has been hard on my psyche, and three are days when the loneliness and isolation leave me breathless and weeping.

No. I didn’t ask for any of this, but I sure as hell fire will do my very best, to be the hands and feet of my Lord and Savior, Jesus.

Faith and Family First-Word to the Wise

I have asked for God’s help in relating this message-and as I flipped through a few videos a few moments later?  I came across this video.  It has taken years of hard work, fighting through the muck and mire of depression and addiction; and for that God has given me an ear for what he may be trying to tell me.  It all began three years ago, when I began finding angel feathers, angels in my back yard (I have proof) and a deep understanding of His love and steadfast guidance.

I simply cannot put the feeling into words:  one of knowing, wishing I didn’t, but almost euphoric that I don’t have to find out like much of the world will-I had time to digest the Q crumbs, y’all will be hit with this all at once.  Rather than even remote cockiness, I feel a deep seated love for my family, and a deep concern for how people are going to react at the coming news.

The Holy Spirit whispers:  tell them, prepare them, pray for them.

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I can’t help but remember how stoic and strong my mother was when all hell was breaking loose-fearless.  Yet God forbid she broke a nail, or a neighbor was walking toward the house:

“Steve!!!!  JoAnne Schunder is walking up the road!!!  Tell her I’m not here, I know she just wants to see what state my kitchen is in!!!”

Heavy sigh, I am just like my mother-in many, many ways.  I am not saying that I sailed though the last two and a half years carefree.  Quite the contrary-when we went on vacation in 2017 I was convinced the world was ending.  I was a hot mess in hiking boots and may I say that I handled absolutely none of it well?  I wouldn’t have had it any other way, looking back, but I had not one soul to speak to.  My husband would cup his ears and run from the room.  I haven’t spoken to my sister or her family in two years.  My friends made it perfectly clear that I was wrong, wrong, WRONG and that everything I said was, in fact, fake news.

Okay, let me get to my points:

We never landed on the moon.  Francis Ford Copula directed the production, and if you watch the shining you can see the little boy wearing an Apollo sweater-long story, but no-we were in a rush to beat the Russians to the Mr. Moon.  I am not sure there were altruistic reasons for this production, but I am telling you the truth.

Police officers given the “insurance” file left on Anthony Weiner’s laptop both vomited and fainted after watching HRC and Huma Aberdeen raping, torturing and then drinking the adrenochrome (blood) of a small child.  To this very day there have been suicides-we are not quite sure, but most of these NYC cops are believed to have been “suicided.”  The fact that both of them are still walking this earth is a fact I can’t face-and more than a few times I have cried out to God-how?  How could this possibly be?

The Pope is a pedophile, arrested years ago and still presiding over every Catholic in America.  He is satanic, and he and others wear red shoes-made from the skin of children they have brutally tortured and murdered.

John McCain was executed after a military tribunal, as was Poppy Bush and quite possibly G.W.  Soon, there will be a station dedicated to the military tribunals at GITMO.  I have no idea if I will be able to stomach the drama, I feel as if I’ve lived this horror forever.

Much, much more will be coming out in the weeks and months ahead.  My advice is to keep your family close and your prayers continuous.  This is a biblical battle, spiritual warfare is very real.  If you are attending a place of worship that doesn’t address or believe in demons or satan?  Please, please run as if your hair is afire.  The New Age movement is the “Great Deception,” and no matter what anyone tells you-it is an abomination to God.

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We are in the fight of our lives, but God is winning.

You have nothing to fear, lean on Jesus-you will need God, no matter what you think at this moment-you will need Him.

I am here to answer any questions I can, and to encourage and comfort you.  We are witnessing the systematic destruction of the Deep State globalist agenda, but we need the public to awaken.  There is strength in numbers and we are much stronger together than apart.  [THEY] want nothing more than your money, your children and your country-add to that your freedom of speech, right to a safe country and [THEIR] endgame has always been Socialism and mass depopulation.

Don’t believe me?  Look up Georgia Guide stones.

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The above “models” were runaways, abductees and unaware that they were being sold as sex slaves or satanic sacrifices.  All of this has been thoroughly documented, this isn’t a game.  These abominations have been going on for hundreds of years, but we didn’t know this because MSM was busy brainwashing, or MKUltraing our psyches.  It is not your fault if you have no idea-Trump is in a full out war with the Mainstream media, and I can tell you for a fact that the likes of CNN, Fox and MSNBC are soon to be extinct.  They are an integral part of the CIA Project Mockingbird-look that up as well.

We are all here to help those who are just now learning that they have been lied to their entire lives.  The information is frightening, and you should be alarmed-you should be FURIOUS.  And when most of us have some degree of awareness, that is when the news will be taken over by the Patriots, and everything will be public knowledge.

I recommend the following YouTube channels:  The Patriot Hour; McCallister TV; SGT Report; You are Free TV and Patriot1943.  

Whether you choose to believe it or not, it’s non-negational-these are the facts.

We all need to grow up, stand up and fight for our freedoms.  This is not the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new start for all of God’s people.

Those who are on the other side?

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