Sugar Mountain

You can’t be twenty on Sugar Mountain, though you know that you’re leaving there too soon.

I apologize for not getting to my audience sooner, but the fates combined to leave me with no electronics. Long story, and let’s just get down to it, shall we?

I want to preface anything I say with a caveat-if you don’t believe me, have trust issues or think I have time to bullshit you?

This blog isn’t for you.

THE CARONA VIRUS IS A HOAX

The Wuhan virus was patented by the Deep State to create an Armageddon: while they fled for underground tunnels and Antartica-caviar and only the best champagne will do, thank you very much-[THEY] were going to kill as many of us as possible.

The Trump administration, the nation’s military generals, and especially God Himself thwarted that plan. What you are watching in real time is the systematic destruction of the deep state cabal. Our beloved, duly elected president needs time to arrest thousands upon thousands of very, very evil people. He wants us safe. Donald J. Trump cannot shout out his plans because the enemies of our state would be more informed than he wants them to be. I am telling you to trust the plan, take a break, and look to God for answers and self reflection. You will have plenty, plenty of time on your hands in which to do so.

In 2017, the Holy Spirit saw fit to convict me of one thing and one thing only: that #QAnon was real. Over the past years, I felt God moving mountains for me: He gave me everything I needed to prepare for the job I excel at-and that is encouraging, loving and comforting people.

What you are watching on television is Public Enemy Numero Uno: the mainstream media conglomerate run by the likes of George Soros and major network talking heads who will not only be indicted? [THEY] will face charges of treason, punishable by death. It is they who caused this panic, as they are in bed with satan. It proves a point, one that we have been trying to tell you for years: don’t believe a word you hear.

I lost my shit over the years, on the people I loved the most. Uncontrollable fits of rage and frustration, combined with an exhausted and withered psyche, led me to turn to Jesus in a way I never had before. Through the miracle of faith I was guided by discernment the likes of which I have never experienced before. The great Comforter was way ahead of me, to be sure.

There will be executions.

There will be blood shed.

There will be mass arrests.

This storm is biblical, my dear beloveds. If there was every a good time to pray, it’s now. We are SAFE. The patriots are in control. I will be blogging all weekend, as there will be an upcoming 10 days of darkness in which our entire internet system will be rebooted.

Buh bye Zuckerberg.

See ya later @Jack.

Don Lemon? It’s been real.

What can you do? Ensure you have plenty of food, water and, er, toilet paper. Cooperate with your president. Have your prescriptions filled for three months if possible, stock up on whatever it is that you simply cannot be without-for me, Nicorette gum and pet food.

Comfort your friends and neighbors. Remain CALM, and please-look up. He’s holding you. He’s loving you. GOD is in control.

Sugar Mountain

You can’t be twenty on Sugar Mountain, though you know that you’re leaving there too soon.

I apologize for not getting to my audience sooner, but the fates combined to leave me with no electronics. Long story, and let’s just get down to it, shall we?

I want to preface anything I say with a caveat-if you don’t believe me, have trust issues or think I have time to bullshit you?

This blog isn’t for you.

THE CARONA VIRUS IS A HOAX

The Wuhan virus was patented by the Deep State to create an Armageddon: while they fled for underground tunnels and Antartica-caviar and only the best champagne will do, thank you very much-[THEY] were going to kill as many of us as possible.

The Trump administration, the nation’s military generals, and especially God Himself thwarted that plan. What you are watching in real time is the systematic destruction of the deep state cabal. Our beloved, duly elected president needs time to arrest thousands upon thousands of very, very evil people. He wants us safe. Donald J. Trump cannot shout out his plans because the enemies of our state would be more informed than he wants them to be. I am telling you to trust the plan, take a break, and look to God for answers and self reflection. You will have plenty, plenty of time on your hands in which to do so.

In 2017, the Holy Spirit saw fit to convict me of one thing and one thing only: that #QAnon was real. Over the past years, I felt God moving mountains for me: He gave me everything I needed to prepare for the job I excel at-and that is encouraging, loving and comforting people.

What you are watching on television is Public Enemy Numero Uno: the mainstream media conglomerate run by the likes of George Soros and major network talking heads who will not only be indicted? [THEY] will face charges of treason, punishable by death. It is they who caused this panic, as they are in bed with satan. It proves a point, one that we have been trying to tell you for years: don’t believe a word you hear.

I lost my shit over the years, on the people I loved the most. Uncontrollable fits of rage and frustration, combined with an exhausted and withered psyche, led me to turn to Jesus in a way I never had before. Through the miracle of faith I was guided by discernment the likes of which I have never experienced before. The great Comforter was way ahead of me, to be sure.

There will be executions.

There will be blood shed.

There will be mass arrests.

This storm is biblical, my dear beloveds. If there was every a good time to pray, it’s now. We are SAFE. The patriots are in control. I will be blogging all weekend, as there will be an upcoming 10 days of darkness in which our entire internet system will be rebooted.

Buh bye Zuckerberg.

See ya later @Jack.

Don Lemon? It’s been real.

What can you do? Ensure you have plenty of food, water and, er, toilet paper. Cooperate with your president. Have your prescriptions filled for three months if possible, stock up on whatever it is that you simply cannot be without-for me, Nicorette gum and pet food.

Comfort your friends and neighbors. Remain CALM, and please-look up. He’s holding you. He’s loving you. GOD is in control.

The Mammogram Blues

Suspended animation:  what women feel the week before, and every moment leading up to-the dreaded annual mammogram.  My Lord!  I’d like to meet the son of a bitch who invented these machines-not that I’m not thankful for early detection.  Here’s my question to the AMA:  why must a woman go through this unholy torture chamber each and every year, when we know DAMN well you have a thing called ultrasounds?

Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my tits?

I am in no way trying to frighten anyone out of getting this procedure.  Some women feel nothing at all, but then we have the group of flat chesters like myself.  Mother of God it hurts.  It is the equivalent of trying to squeeze more juice from the lemon you threw out last week.  And the bitch maneuvering the equipment always finds a reason to squish my breasts to smithereens.

“Oh, honey, we didn’t get enough last time, let me just adjust your breast, whoops!  Just pushed your mammary glands up through your anal cavity!  Lololol”

Excuse me, but why is this even a “thing?”

I was wondering what would happen if I went postal on this hooligan, like, what could they do to me, right?  Some women faint, others scream at the top of their lungs (really, totally uncalled for ladies) and some women beat the living shit out of the radiographers.

Simple, really.

 

Next Stop Eden

I just listened to this whilst showering, and I have to say that it was probably the most important forty minutes of my life. For months I have known in my spirit, in my heart of hearts that Jesus is coming. It was as if I was floating around, thrilling at each and every blessing God sent my way. And then I began doubting myself. Mysteries were solved, questions were answered and to be perfectly honest? I began to doubt myself.

When you doubt yourself you are doubting God.

The Holy Spirit has led me on a journey that few experience, in my estimation. Not saying I’m special, just saying it wasn’t me leading the way, that’s for sure. Aside from the times I went against my intuition? I have been led to the truth for three years. I am incredibly grateful for the time He spent grooming me; and every time I took a pill, or had a temper tantrum the pull of Jesus put me back on track.

Three years ago I hiked the property by the lake at Middlecreek Wildlife Sactuary in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. You may have heard of the area as the migration of snow geese can be seen in the form of hundreds of thousands of birds who nest for two weeks every February/March. Brings people from Japan, Canada and all over the world, actually.

As I came to a well known fishing hole, I noticed a pair of boys underwear by a maple tree. Something Wicked This Way Comes, the Holy Spirit roared within me.

At the time, I could have chalked it up to a small child swimming and leaving his skivvies behind. No. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was evil in the air. Putrid, sickening and so very dark. Two weeks later I found yet another pair on the same bank. This time I bagged the evidence, using a stick as to not put my fingerprints on the evidence. Once home I donned gloves and opened the bag.

“Lebanon Police,” a thick voice on the other end.

I went on to explain myself.

Are there any markings?”

Yes, I said. The material is blue, and I see what appears to be semen stains.

Sorry, doesn’t sound like anything. Just throw the bag away.

And that my friends, was the beginning of the end of me.

Rally Round the Family…

Before I alarm my readers, I want to say that I wrote this in December of last year.  If you are a regular, your eyes would be bugging, you’d be thinking –

For crying out loud?  Is she left unattended on a regular basis, and if so, why?

That reminds me of the time my step son was pulling into the driveway one day last Spring.  I was in the garden as he turned into the driveway.  And then, I wasn’t.  Yep, stepped on a rake-just like you see in the movies-and knocked myself into a concussion.  To this very day?  I mind my business around them, try not to get too close.  Sneaky bastards.

This is the season of my content.  And that is precisely what I was thinking as I stood in my garden and thrilled to the Monarchs and hummingbirds.  I was feeling pretty overcome with emotion, gratitude on a level that is hard to put into words.  This was all I had dreamed of and more.  Not just the garden…

And then, all hell broke loose.

I bent down to watch a particular butterfly, caught by her beauty and grace.  It took approximately three seconds for me to realize that a mother effing praying mantis was eating her head.  There were muffled cries, lots of cursing mother nature, and, inevitably?  The hysterical spraying of said praying mantis with dawn dish soap I usually reserve for my roses.

On that note, have a fab Sunday and hope you enjoy~

*********************************************************************

Life goes along at warp speed until something stops you dead in your tracks: As was the case Sunday morning, after a full weekend of loving and socializing, the enemy came to take his due-you don’t think he isn’t out there trying to devour everything good in your life? Au contraire, mon amies! But here’s the good news-call out to Jesus, and you are free. He can’t hurt you if you are covered in the full armor of God.

But what about those times when evil does strike? Well, Abba will protect you in ways you couldn’t imagine, and that’s why I’m alive and writing this blog-my Lord and Savior sent His angels, and they protected me from a massive head injury and internal bleeding.

Just out of Dwain’s truck, exhausted from a weekend of frivolity, I could barely pick up my feet. I had promised my husband that I would collect the myriad of dog toys that lay around our yard, at the whim of my golden retriever, who thinks he has to entertain the grasshoppers and blue jays with his cacophony of babies. It’s so sweet, until it isn’t.

I had my purse in one hand, my drink in the other, AND I was carrying six, that’s SIX dog toys to boot. We have concrete stairs, no railing, and the stairs are ridiculously dangerous. It did not escape my mind, while sitting in the ER, that I had traipsed up and down said steps while drunk, high on cocaine, and worse. Never once even tripped. But yesterday was different. My boots caught on Jesse’s blue elephant, and down I went. I had no hands to put out, and I landed on my noggin.

I immediately called for Dwain, who could hear me, but couldn’t find me. Pain so severe I thought I would vomit, I remained perfectly still until my husband arrived on the scene. I am an EMT, and a CNA-I have volunteered in the Emergency Room, with hospice and prison ministries-I have seen it all and maintained my composure. This is the precise reason I am prone to freaking out when I get hurt-I simply know too much.

Head injury? I was out of my mind hysterical. It didn’t help when my husband picked up my head and his eyes bulged out of his-

“My GOD, is it THAT bad?,” I wail. He didn’t answer, he was too busy putting my ample white behind in his truck, grabbing ice and driving like a bat out of hell, towards the ER I had recently walked out of-after calling out the employees no less. As I walked in, I immediately placed my eyes on Dawn, who calmed me as she directed me towards the door. I knew where to go all right. I just didn’t know if they would help me, or hurt me. They had so much power at that moment.

A friend of mine, Katie, was the charge nurse, praise God. She gave me a hug and an ice pack, told me the doctor would soon be in. As Dwain sat on the bed, this came over the PA System:

ATTENTION: SEPSIS ALERT IN THE ER. SEPSIS ALERT IN THE ER.

“Fabulous,” I murmured. And then it hit me, we were the only people there, aside from an 83 year old man with a dizzy spell. What the Harry???? They were talking about me for crying out loud! I couldn’t figure this out as the knot on my head was the size of a peach, but the wound wasn’t bad, it bled very little.

Dr. Ammons didn’t waste any time checking me over. I was told it would hurt like hell for a few days, but that I was extremely fortunate as if I had hit one inch below, I could have had serious eye trauma. If my cranium had hit a few inches lower? I could have knocked out my front teeth. But I knew about head trauma, and I was frightened. I kept what I knew to myself, forgetting that my man is a first responder.

And so it was, that I woke this morning with a shiner the size of Texas, and a headache to beat the band.

And because of His love? I’ll be strutting my stuff, sooner than you can say the words accident prone.

Imbecile Wind

WARNING              WARNING                  WARNING             WARNING            WARNING

Please proceed with caution.  I am triggered and that means there’s a good chance you may be too, so…don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I was wondering when the dam would break.  Just yesterday I was marveling at the fact that I am not, in fact, in a mental institution after the stress of the past two years.  I say this entirely serious-as a heart attack.  If I had known what lay ahead?  Let’s just say it’s amazing what Jesus can do for one’s health.  Amen!

I have always cared, a bit too much, for people who don’t give a flying fig about me.  It’s my nature to love, and in fact, I find it close to impossible to say anything that would hurt someone else’s feelings.  I cannot stand for bullies, and I just can’t stomach malice.  There is an exception to every rule, and today has been coming for a very long time.

I have always had a cause or two, animals, battered or abused women and children, banning Sharia Law from this country…LGBT rights.  When it came to the real news?  I had not a clue, as I was busy living my life self centeredly; it’s what addicts do best.

Biden, Pence, G.W., Obama, Clinton and their wives were given an envelope. It wasn’t good news.

Here’s the thing.  I woke up in 2015, when working for a client who listened to Rush Limbaugh at volume ear bleed on his Bose.  Religiously.  I was a Democrat at the time and a feisty one at that.  As the days and weeks went by, I learned horrifying details of what Barry Santero and Michael Richards were doing.  I would yell out loud, and ask John, an 85 year old Italian, who had an opinion,  about everything, what in the Harry Belafonte was GOING ON?

“This can’t be, they’re ruining the country.”

“I think he’s the antichrist.”

“Yep, it’s deliberate.  He’s a muslim.”

I conservatized my butt then and there, on the spot.

“Why do you hate that guy?”

I didn’t want to step on any toes, but I began trying to get the word out to my friends and family.

market 04
Here they are, yup, they’re all there! My nearest and dearest…

My situation changed, and I could no longer work due to my PTSD.  Praise God we won my disability case, as to this day I can’t commit to a haircut, let alone job.  The Lyme disease reared its putrid head around this time-I had long days of resting, and I took to the Truther ropes with relative ease.

At first it was Alex Jones, who ended up being a bad actor.  To this day I am unsure of the real truth about some of his theories-he is paid disinformation, don’t forget.  I slowly found my way, with Jesus’ steadfast love and encouragement.  What I learned I can’t unlearn.  And yes, there are days when I wish I could-my life is now pre and post red pill.  I get teary watching certain shows, dreamily thinking of the days when we took life at face value.  When women weren’t men, and presidents didn’t cause race wars, or fund the terrorist militias, or murder innocent children.

That absurd bill for hotdogs that you and I paid for?  It was code.  Code for prepubescent boys.  And yes, Pedogate is real-as real as it gets.  Did I want this information?  NO!!!!  Yet the combination of my dread of being snuck up on and my drive for the truth (it may be a hard pill to swallow, but it will set you free) set me on a three year journey of unpleasantries, life changing belief systems and absolute night terrors.

911-SomePeople46YHNQ5498QPIKAS621FV943

At each and every opportunity, I gently tried to tell the people around me the truth.  It took my husband two years, two years to realize I knew a lot more than him-he did the research himself and came to his own conclusion.  But the years of “Oh honey, you’re hilarious” took its toll on me.

What do you think it does to a person’s soul when no one around them believes one word that comes from their lips?  I can answer that, it ain’t pretty.  And so it was that I phoned my acquaintance Bea today, upon her request, with news of Mike Pence.

I’m really sorry, but it doesn’t look…”

I don’t believe you!!

That moment I felt something growing within; a rage and fury I had yet to know, and it rises again in the retelling.  Who are you going to believe, your friend of ten years of the MSM?  What on God’s green earth would be my motive to lie?  Please, by all means, shed some light on the situation.

I don’t claim to know about the economy, or the plight of today’s farmers; but what I know for certain (that’s what research does folks, it enlightens one) I share.  I don’t go out into the Twilight Zone blindly nor naively.  I had to learn the hard way whom to trust, and how to get at the truth-I have sources with high military intelligence clearances.  John F. Kennedy, Jr. follows me on Twitter-along with some two thousand other people who just happen to assume I have half a brain-and a good one at that.

From this day hence, I shall banish these people from mine kingdom.

If your first name starts with STUPID?  You’re shit out of luck.

AdrenochromeShortageCeline Dion1550757795357

I’m Not No Limberger

This blog is dedicated to the woman who keeps me grounded, keeps me going and keeps me safely tucked inside her heart. I love you sweet Lynn-may God bless and keep you…

Momma also told me there’s be days like this, but did I listen?

George hates my guts, he really does. What began as a nice comradery has turned ugly, and quick. The owner of the Brickerville House, the cozy little tavern with food to die for, has not taken kindly to my commiserating with his wait staff. Today for instance, I am quite sure he wanted to throat punch me-for hugging a waitress no less. As I moved in for the weekly embrace Miss Shannon delivers, I can see his beady little eyes watching every move I made.

“Take a picture, dude!,” I did not yell, but hey-I wanted to.

As we paid our bill, I went to say goodbye.

“I just got in major trouble for hugging you. The fucking Coronavirus crap. I guess we aren’t supposed to be physical, you know.” She went on to say she didn’t care, but the look on her face begged to differ.

That would be because the man detests me-not a reflection on you, my dear.

“Why does he hate you so much?”

Ah, well, that would be because his waitstaff loves me, and he thinks I slow you down-get in the way.

We collapsed into giggles, just as Mr. Personality hit the bar. I ran as if my hair were afire. I could give a crap, you know me, but the last thing on my mind was getting her fired, to be sure.

On to my grocery store “experience.” My husband was in the store aside of Dutchway, where we do most of our shopping. I used to do food display at this store, as a result I have many friends that are like a family to me. I was discussing the “virus” with Judy, who works in the meat department.

I just love him so much, I mean, thank GOD for President Trump.”

The circle of ladies grew larger, we all agreed, yep, Donald J. Trump is going to save this country, as God ordained him to do so. Knowing my husband was waiting, I left the group and headed towards the corned beef-a rarity around these parts-and St. Patty’s day is coming up…suddenly, my bionic ears took over.

“Better watch what I say around her, she probably has a gun in her pocket.”

As the minions grabbing the last of the toilet paper passed by in a blur, I turned and said:

What did you just say?

She proceeded to yell at warp volume:

“TRUMP IS AN ASSHOLE. HE DOESN’T KNOW SHIT.”

I admit it-I thought about spraying her with the mace I did have in my pocket.. I shook, from the bottom of my feet to the red curls that fell across my forehead. I wanted to hit her in her freakishly large cranium that held very little inside.

I took a step forward, then another. I stared into her eyes. And in a moment of intense rage and disgust?

I took her freaking toilet paper right out of her cart.

She didn’t beg to differ.

Sugar Mountain

You can’t be twenty on Sugar Mountain, though you know that you’re leaving there too soon.

I apologize for not getting to my audience sooner, but the fates combined to leave me with no electronics. Long story, and let’s just get down to it, shall we?

I want to preface anything I say with a caveat-if you don’t believe me, have trust issues or think I have time to bullshit you?

This blog isn’t for you.

THE CARONA VIRUS IS A HOAX

The Wuhan virus was patented by the Deep State to create an Armageddon: while they fled for underground tunnels and Antartica-caviar and only the best champagne will do, thank you very much-[THEY] were going to kill as many of us as possible.

The Trump administration, the nation’s military generals, and especially God Himself thwarted that plan. What you are watching in real time is the systematic destruction of the deep state cabal. Our beloved, duly elected president needs time to arrest thousands upon thousands of very, very evil people. He wants us safe. Donald J. Trump cannot shout out his plans because the enemies of our state would be more informed than he wants them to be. I am telling you to trust the plan, take a break, and look to God for answers and self reflection. You will have plenty, plenty of time on your hands in which to do so.

In 2017, the Holy Spirit saw fit to convict me of one thing and one thing only: that #QAnon was real. Over the past years, I felt God moving mountains for me: He gave me everything I needed to prepare for the job I excel at-and that is encouraging, loving and comforting people.

What you are watching on television is Public Enemy Numero Uno: the mainstream media conglomerate run by the likes of George Soros and major network talking heads who will not only be indicted? [THEY] will face charges of treason, punishable by death. It is they who caused this panic, as they are in bed with satan. It proves a point, one that we have been trying to tell you for years: don’t believe a word you hear.

I lost my shit over the years, on the people I loved the most. Uncontrollable fits of rage and frustration, combined with an exhausted and withered psyche, led me to turn to Jesus in a way I never had before. Through the miracle of faith I was guided by discernment the likes of which I have never experienced before. The great Comforter was way ahead of me, to be sure.

There will be executions.

There will be blood shed.

There will be mass arrests.

This storm is biblical, my dear beloveds. If there was every a good time to pray, it’s now. We are SAFE. The patriots are in control. I will be blogging all weekend, as there will be an upcoming 10 days of darkness in which our entire internet system will be rebooted.

Buh bye Zuckerberg.

See ya later @Jack.

Don Lemon? It’s been real.

What can you do? Ensure you have plenty of food, water and, er, toilet paper. Cooperate with your president. Have your prescriptions filled for three months if possible, stock up on whatever it is that you simply cannot be without-for me, Nicorette gum and pet food.

Comfort your friends and neighbors. Remain CALM, and please-look up. He’s holding you. He’s loving you. GOD is in control.

Rally Round the Family…

Before I alarm my readers, I want to say that I wrote this in December of last year.  If you are a regular, your eyes would be bugging, you’d be thinking –

For crying out loud?  Is she left unattended on a regular basis, and if so, why?

That reminds me of the time my step son was pulling into the driveway one day last Spring.  I was in the garden as he turned into the driveway.  And then, I wasn’t.  Yep, stepped on a rake-just like you see in the movies-and knocked myself into a concussion.  To this very day?  I mind my business around them, try not to get too close.  Sneaky bastards.

This is the season of my content.  And that is precisely what I was thinking as I stood in my garden and thrilled to the Monarchs and hummingbirds.  I was feeling pretty overcome with emotion, gratitude on a level that is hard to put into words.  This was all I had dreamed of and more.  Not just the garden…

And then, all hell broke loose.

I bent down to watch a particular butterfly, caught by her beauty and grace.  It took approximately three seconds for me to realize that a mother effing praying mantis was eating her head.  There were muffled cries, lots of cursing mother nature, and, inevitably?  The hysterical spraying of said praying mantis with dawn dish soap I usually reserve for my roses.

On that note, have a fab Sunday and hope you enjoy~

*********************************************************************

Life goes along at warp speed until something stops you dead in your tracks: As was the case Sunday morning, after a full weekend of loving and socializing, the enemy came to take his due-you don’t think he isn’t out there trying to devour everything good in your life? Au contraire, mon amies! But here’s the good news-call out to Jesus, and you are free. He can’t hurt you if you are covered in the full armor of God.

But what about those times when evil does strike? Well, Abba will protect you in ways you couldn’t imagine, and that’s why I’m alive and writing this blog-my Lord and Savior sent His angels, and they protected me from a massive head injury and internal bleeding.

Just out of Dwain’s truck, exhausted from a weekend of frivolity, I could barely pick up my feet. I had promised my husband that I would collect the myriad of dog toys that lay around our yard, at the whim of my golden retriever, who thinks he has to entertain the grasshoppers and blue jays with his cacophony of babies. It’s so sweet, until it isn’t.

I had my purse in one hand, my drink in the other, AND I was carrying six, that’s SIX dog toys to boot. We have concrete stairs, no railing, and the stairs are ridiculously dangerous. It did not escape my mind, while sitting in the ER, that I had traipsed up and down said steps while drunk, high on cocaine, and worse. Never once even tripped. But yesterday was different. My boots caught on Jesse’s blue elephant, and down I went. I had no hands to put out, and I landed on my noggin.

I immediately called for Dwain, who could hear me, but couldn’t find me. Pain so severe I thought I would vomit, I remained perfectly still until my husband arrived on the scene. I am an EMT, and a CNA-I have volunteered in the Emergency Room, with hospice and prison ministries-I have seen it all and maintained my composure. This is the precise reason I am prone to freaking out when I get hurt-I simply know too much.

Head injury? I was out of my mind hysterical. It didn’t help when my husband picked up my head and his eyes bulged out of his-

“My GOD, is it THAT bad?,” I wail. He didn’t answer, he was too busy putting my ample white behind in his truck, grabbing ice and driving like a bat out of hell, towards the ER I had recently walked out of-after calling out the employees no less. As I walked in, I immediately placed my eyes on Dawn, who calmed me as she directed me towards the door. I knew where to go all right. I just didn’t know if they would help me, or hurt me. They had so much power at that moment.

A friend of mine, Katie, was the charge nurse, praise God. She gave me a hug and an ice pack, told me the doctor would soon be in. As Dwain sat on the bed, this came over the PA System:

ATTENTION: SEPSIS ALERT IN THE ER. SEPSIS ALERT IN THE ER.

“Fabulous,” I murmured. And then it hit me, we were the only people there, aside from an 83 year old man with a dizzy spell. What the Harry???? They were talking about me for crying out loud! I couldn’t figure this out as the knot on my head was the size of a peach, but the wound wasn’t bad, it bled very little.

Dr. Ammons didn’t waste any time checking me over. I was told it would hurt like hell for a few days, but that I was extremely fortunate as if I had hit one inch below, I could have had serious eye trauma. If my cranium had hit a few inches lower? I could have knocked out my front teeth. But I knew about head trauma, and I was frightened. I kept what I knew to myself, forgetting that my man is a first responder.

And so it was, that I woke this morning with a shiner the size of Texas, and a headache to beat the band.

And because of His love? I’ll be strutting my stuff, sooner than you can say the words accident prone.

Tightrope

I live out in the country, way out: but that doesn’t mean I have no neighbors. I think Jesus made it perfectly clear, but I am not the one to judge. I have issues, too. Just recently? I was doing a bit of ruminating about my sin, and I came to the horrifying conclusion that all of my friends are “beautiful” people. I am actually a bit surprised at my prejudice, as I assumed that I had a big heart, for all people. I do, however it seems to me it’s a whole lot easier to love attractive people. I am deeply shamed by this, and will work on it ASAP.

About five years ago, I found myself embedded in a screaming match with my neighbor, Jeanne. I stopped walking my dog around our neighborhood after this incident, and I have her to thank. Jeanne and her family had recently moved to our tiny burb, and I never would have known if not for her dog, Cujo; who promptly scared the life force out of my golden retriever. After calling for immediate restraint, I heard this:

“Oh, for crying out loud, it’s just a German Shepherd,” came her response, loud and clear. You don’t know me, or how I get when people get in my face. I am a Gemini, through and through. I am simultaneously the nicest and meanest person you will ever meet-just depends on what you’re dishing out on that particular day.

Years later, I am standing with Jeanne.  Who, indeed, proved to be a horse’s ass.  But this particular day, back in February, she caught me while hunting sheds, in the field below her farm.  We took up talking and I told her I was going through a bout of Lyme.  She, in turn, told me to come up to the house, to hear about Essential Oils!!!  I must have been gravely ill, because I actually went, thinking that she was trying to help me.  What. On. Earth. Was I thinking?

Anyway, the neighbor who lives in between myself and Jeanne, is a 90 year old, Pennsylvania Dutch, busy body extraordinaire.  She knows all of the gossip in the neighborhood.  We don’t get involved, ever.  So, I haven’t been close to Ruth in years, as I knew she wasn’t fond of me.  How did I know this?  I have it on good authority, it came from the horse’s mouth. Apparently, Ruth said this to my in laws:

“You can say a lot of things about Michele, but she sure does take good care of her animals.”

So, there’s that.  And a whole bunch of other stuff I have already flushed down the commode.

Here’s the thang:  we cannot wrap ourselves up in others’ perceptions of us.  Ninety percent of the time?  They are going on gossip, unearned reputations-not the Holy Spirit or the love of Jesus in their hearts.

So, I would like to wrap this up by saying this to anyone and everyone who delights in being in my bizness:

You people are the human version of menstrual cramps.