Lordamighty, it has been a trying week. I have wept so often I have a dehydration migraine going. And the toxic people in my life aren’t helping; neither is my Irish temper. After three days of emotional roller coasters and half assed hostessing–I did the unthinkable, had two dinner parties back to back on consecutive days–I am planted firmly on my assets, and plan on absolutely nothing for duration of today.
So, my girlfriend Lynn came to dine on Tuesday. We have recently reunited after a not so pretty breakup, and I was just as much to blame as she. I have few regrets in this life, but they all involve my inability to have compassion or patience with people I loved dearly. It still kicks me in the stomach now and then.
Lynn is my friend that respects me enough to believe me when I tell her what is going on. She takes it in stride, and I believe it to be her strong and abiding faith in Jesus. For when we are weak, then are we strong stuff. She is lovely, and very fragile with health problems. I worry and pray for her, and I believe she will be healed. She knows what it is to be trampled on, then shunned by family members. One of these members happens to be a pastor who tapped her phone and hacked her Facebook account. He then publicly humiliated her in a sermon, and had the entire church shun his own stepmother.
I got noting on her, for sure.
I didn’t really trust it, at first-the friendship. I had cared for her mother in Lynne’s home, and she had helped me during a full blown nervous breakdown-she was my angel. She fought with my husband over allowing me to smoke, stuck up for me in church and social circles, and had the biggest heart I’d ever seen.
Familiarity breeds discontent.
I ran into her at the grocery store, and stopped to chat for a bit. To be frank, my force field was in full operation. I had no intentions of trusting her, or hoping it would go further. I am so much stronger than I was then, the breakdown coming after I decided to go off of my Lexapro-cold turkey-because I believed it made me gain twenty pounds. Sadly, I almost did the same rodeo show with my Zoloft-I came to my senses after two days.
Time to admit that you have a chemical imbalance, are prone to serious depression and anxiety after a lifetime of abuse, CPTSD. There, that wasn’t so hard. Don’t get me wrong, every ridiculous and harrowing ride I have ever taken in this glorious life brought me to the point of now, and praise Jesus! I am stronger, more resistant. I speak my truth, and as is my wont, publicly and at volume eleventy hundred.
Alas, over the last few days we have bonded due to extremely trying times, for the both of us. I lost my best friend to cancer, she her health concerns and loneliness. It’s not that she doesn’t have people around her, it’s just that they don’t understand her. Not like I do.
Anyway, I brought up the Reptilian convoy. Interestingly enough, she didn’t blink an eye ball! How could this be, my thought cloud read. She didn’t bat an eye, because she knew a woman who worked at Hershey Medical Center. This woman is a nurse, and she confided in Lynne that she had cared (meaning on multiple occasions) for people with “claws for hands.”
If you are as repelled and horrified as I am, well, God bless ya.
The following video if from a man I like to call friend. He is a respected scholar in this field. He lectures all around the country, is an Irish Catholic like myself, and takes his work very seriously. I caution you to not rebuke this information, because these are facts, not fiction.
May we as Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ who are privileged to live in such a time as this, where we are witnessing biblical spiritual warfare-and we are winning. Bigly. May we all come together, forget the political drudge that is meant to separate us. For we are much stronger together, and now is the time to love one another. Love out loud. Reach out to those around you who are having a hard time with the facts.
Our biggest foe is the Mainstream media. They are keeping those yet awakened in the dark, after years of brainwashing and demoralizing-they are lying just as they are living.
Future proves past.
Ask Jesus into your heart, ask for discernment from the Holy Spirit. I do this each and every day, but you don’t have to. There are no rules. If you call on the name of Jesus, He will be at your side. If you draw closer, and believe that He is the one and only Son of God who came in the flesh to sacrifice for our sins so that we may be forgiven? Whisper, shout, whatever you have to do, I am telling you. Just twelve years ago I was a hopeless addict, strung out from PTSD, sitting in the ER with a cop at my door. Suicide watch. I had zero self esteem, and had been an unknowing victim in my sister’s narcissism. I was at bottom as bottom can get, my marriage in turmoil, my mind a backlog of grief.
I was terrified of feeling the pain. Terrified.
Today I am free from the guilt, the shame and the grief. Because of Him I am stronger. Because of Him I am an adult, wide awake but fearless. I trust my Abba.
I trust the plan, man.